A Malaysian Indian in Indonesia

This particular post has been in the works for a long time, but I was a little worried about posting it as it talks about a certain issue that involves RACE. However after much deliberation I have decided that I have to rant or this will be in my system and I will combust if I don't get it out. 

Let's see. Fact : I am an Indian. Yes I am. That's where it ends. I was born in Malaysia, as were my parents. Somewhere a few generations ago the British decided that my ancestors needed a change in scenery and they were brought to Malaysia. I am a MALAYSIAN citizen. Not an Indian national. I have never been to India. In fact if I were sent there the Indians would probably consider me an alien due to how NOT Indian I am.

You see, I am what I call a 'physical Indian'. I have the features, the dusky skin (chocolate brown if you will), the big eyes, dark brown hair. But that's all. I'm not proud to admit that I can't speak any Indian language fluently (P/S: There's no such language as Indian. Get your facts right) I can understand basic Tamil but that's all. I cannot tolerate spicy food. At all. And I do not own Indian traditional clothing. I have never worn a saree in my life. I'm Catholic (an Indian Catholic? How fascinating!) Bottom line I am not particularly cultural and have to dig a little deeper than most for my Indian roots.

I'm trying hard not to be sarcastic, but I reached the limit of tolerance when I first came to Indonesia. I should have known when right from the first day a clerk in the university did a million rude gestures (palms raised together, head bobbing from left to right, holding and circling an imaginary tray) to explain to me there were barely any Hindu temples in the city for me to pray. I was already burning when I explained that I was a Catholic with gritted teeth, and I was even more pissed when he looked at me like I'd just dropped from Mars.

As time passed I started to think I was a zoo escapee when even a regular trip to the mall resulted in feeling like I was standing in a stadium with spectators staring and whispering and giggling at me. It was a real smack to my self-esteem and I have given people the stink-eye on too many occasions until the resting bitchface seems to be permanently stuck on me. People have asked if I was from India, Pakistan, Bangladesh, Timor Leste, Papua New Guinea (like what the frak??) and a zillion other countries except my home country. Have the people of this country never seen Indians?

To answer the question, yes they have. I was utterly horrified to learn that Indonesians were a huge fan of a show called Mahabharata (a story about Indian legends or something) and they were obsessed over Hindi movies. As a result, we faced many rude uneducated people yelling 'Mahabharata' at us in public and singing Hindi songs as if Shah Rukh Khan was my neighbour or something. For someone like me who barely watches Hindi movies I felt utterly insulted. Being publicly mocked became a real challenge that tested the limits of my patience greatly. And to add insult to injury, not only were they more well-versed in Indian culture than I was, they even possessed names that were way more Indian than ours were. (in fact I am mystified to this day)

Here's a few examples of stupid questions I have encountered :

a) Why are you all black?

b) Why is (Ying who is Chinese) white?

c) If your parents are Indians, you must be from India.

d) Have you ever gone back to see your family (in India)?

e) You're Malaysian? Oh I thought you were Indian.

f)  You must be great at making flatbreads

g) Do you speak Hindi? (no) Tamil? (no) INDIAN???
h) Are you of Brahmin or Aryyan descent? (Wait...what?)

i) Is the red dot made of blood? (I give up on life)

I could write a gazillion more but it's hiking up too much blood pressure. I personally don't know anybody in India, I can't help being a little darker than the pigmentally-challenged and jeez you really need to brush up on that dusty attic of a brain you have. I have been scorned and mocked and the feeling is one I wouldn't wish on anyone else.

However after a lot of those stupid moments I realise that I just need to let it go. I still get mad and I have been sharp to a couple of people who thought they were being smart. I figure that people make fun of us because not only are we a group of girls, we don't look intimidating and people think they can get away with anything. I guess it must be true because people look taken aback when I give sharp looks or retort.

Moral of the story : it is easy to be racist towards another. Perhaps a person's aesthetic value doesn't appeal to you and you feel the NEED to say something nasty. I invite you to put yourselves in the shoes of those on the receiving end and then will you realise, you can drive people to destruction if you don't know how and when to shut your mouth.